10 Reasons Why Facebook IPO Was A Flop

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

Buy a share of Facebook and you will own almost 0.0000000004 of your Facebook account!

Last Friday, Facebook had finally offered its shares to the public in the most anticipated IPO of the year, raising about $16 Billion and making its founder Mark Zuckerberg the richest man ever to wear a hoodie.  The initial stock price was set at $38, but by Monday the price dropped to about $34 and is about $33 today.  The day of IPO had been marked by delays, technical glitches, lawsuits accusing of preferential treatment of large investors, and by Mark’s wedding to his longtime girlfriend Priscilla Chan.  Sure, weddings can be expensive, but raising $16 Billion just to have a wedding?  Wow.  It is too early to tell if the marriage will be successful, but most experts have already concluded that Facebook IPO was a flop.  So here are 10 reasons why Facebook IPO was a flop.

1)  Potential investors were too busy playing Angry Birds on Facebook to pay attention to anything else.

2)  The IPO underwriter informed only major investors of updated earnings projections because they could not figure out the Facebook’s privacy settings.

3)  The investors remembered about the fate of MySpace.  And then everyone forgot about MySpace again.

4)  An Instagramm picture of the company’s financial report turned out to look much better than the actual report.

5)  Facebook did not agree to sell its stock for the Farmville money.

6)  The Facebook business model is based on the assumption that more users posting more stuff is better for business.  However, the model did not account for the fact that some users should probably be paid to stop posting.

7)  When Mark Zuckerberg announced the IPO on his Facebook page, he forgot to change the post setting from “Friends Only” to “Public”.

8)  The infallible Wall Street expert JP Morgan expressed confidence that the Facebook stock price will rise sharply.

9)  Facebook users thought they could get the Facebook shares just by clicking on “Share” button.

10)  Finally, how can Facebook expect me to buy a piece of it for $38, if it can’t even sell me its Timeline for free?

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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17 Responses to 10 Reasons Why Facebook IPO Was A Flop

  1. mcnorman says:

    One of your best X.

    Like

  2. Sherry says:

    well done! bravo.

    Like

  3. bigsmileu1 says:

    Hilarious! 🙂

    Like

  4. Matthew says:

    Love your lists. Personally, I’m hoping it’s revenge for them moving in down the road from me and upping the traffic.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Thank you. To be honest, the IPO was a flop only in a sense that it did not meet the sky-high expectations for it. So I think the Facebook employees will now start working even harder now that they have to keep their stock price from dropping further. I shudder when I think what this extra hard work will do to the traffic around you, and how they will mess up my Facebook account with their new “amazing” changes”

      Like

  5. I don’t know how you limited yourself to just ten.

    Like

  6. FartboxingByProxy says:

    I just love watching the Facebook stock flop. Only an idiot with an IQ below 90 would have bought this stock. Facebook does not produce anything worth value. I knew way ahead of time this was going to happen. I have no idea what moron thought Facebook was worth $100 billion, i mean were they using Gubment maff?

    Like

  7. Michael Sadowski says:

    It flopped ’cause it’s worthless. Here’s hoping this is the beginning of the end of FecesBook and that “Timeline” bullshit…which is the most cynical advertising campaign in history : your life and memories, just more grist for their money-making mill. Love your lists, X, BTW. Count me among your followers.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Facebook is not exactly worthless. Our private information has to be worth something. I mean, if Facebook sends every user an e-mail that they have locked their access to the account, but will unlock it for a small fee of $10-$20, many will probably pay just to get their photos and stuff out. With something like 800-900 million users, that’s a few billion right there.
      And thank you for visiting and following.

      Like

  8. theBarefoot says:

    I didn’t make it past #2 before I was laughing harder than I should.

    Like

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