10 Reactions To The Supreme Court Ruling on Obamacare

English: The United States Supreme Court, the ...

Supreme Court yearbook photo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last week, the Supreme Court had ruled 5-4 that the Affordable Care Act (better known as Obamacare) is constitutional.  Surprisingly, the decisive 5th vote came not from the Justice Anthony Kennedy as is normally the case in the recent years, but from the Chief Justice John Roberts who normally sides with the conservative justices.  Here are 10 various reactions to the Supreme Court ruling.

1)  45 million uninsured:  (Sigh of relief) Ok, now comes the easy part, not getting sick until 2014.

2)  Mitch McConnell, Senate GOP Leader: This decision has given us the banner to rally around. We will go into the 2012 election with the promise to repeal Obamacare, just as we did in 2010. And we have every intention of making the repeal of Obamacare a central issue of 2014, 2016, 2018, 2020 and all future election campaigns. We just have to make sure that we don’t actually repeal Obamacare by accident, since then we’d have to offer our own solution.

3)  Insurance companies:  This is a favorable ruling for us, since we can count on additional revenue from the previously uninsured.  We would like to thank the Supreme Court for caring about the people, particularly in the light of their 2010 decision identifying corporations as people.

4)  Darrell Issa, Chairman of Committee on Oversight and Government Reform :  I am outraged about the Supreme Court decision, and I will hold the Supreme Court in contempt of Congress if they do not provide documentation on their internal deliberations leading to their decision!

5)  Georgetown University, School of Supreme Court Studies.  Based on our sophisticated statistical analysis of the previous votes by the Supreme Court, we predict that if Supreme Court has to decide whether 2+2=4, it will also be a split 5-4 decision.

6)  Justice Anthony Kennedy:  It is absolutely unconstitutional to make people to have health insurance! But, ummm, I still get to keep my insurance, right?

7)  Sean Hannity, Fox News:  As a result of the Obamacare and Arizona immigration law rulings, the honest hard-working Arizona policemen will not be able to deport illegals, but will have to buy them health insurance instead!

8)  Broccoli growers: Oh boy oh boy oh boy, they voted for the mandate! Everyone was always comparing the insurance mandate with broccoli mandate, so how soon do we get that one? Maybe they’ll make “Eat your Veggies” into a law?

9)  Barack Obama: The Supreme Court is a testament to the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, who have established the court and entrusted it with the power to uphold democracy with their judicious decisions based on the fundamental constitutional principles such as what Justice Kennedy had for dinner and how bad his commute to work was.

10)  Jane Roberts, the wife of John Roberts: My husband has done what you had asked him to do.  Now please, I beg you, release our daughter!

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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9 Responses to 10 Reactions To The Supreme Court Ruling on Obamacare

  1. Ape No. 1 says:

    Glad I’m not a Kennedy… I wonder how many decisions are determined based on people like Kennedy getting lucky in the sheets or not that morning.


  2. There’s been a lot of speculation as to why Justice Roberts voted the way he did. Your #10 on the list was the best explanation yet!


  3. Well; I am normally a very angry man. Grrrrr. Often I have been found to speak; ergo the name.
    Today however I have been forced to abandon my usual surley demeanor and adopt one of far less gravity; not to say frivoloty.
    Thankfully, I am a man of intense mental power and self control; able to restrain myself from indulging too frequently in such jocularity as this.
    Because when I read #10 to my wife; she and I rolled. That is the best line. I would love to quote you on my site If you don’t mind with full credit of course because that is priceless. Which is good because that’s what i can afford to pay for it.
    If you got a fuckin’ problem wid’ dat’ you can look me up at http://www.cutamotherfucker.com.


    • List of X says:

      I don’t mind if you copy any of my stuff as long as you give me credit. I don’t write this for money so this is exactly the compensation I expect.
      I am glad I was able to make you a little less angry. Although I hope it’s only a minor hiccup and won’t interfere with your angry blogging.


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