Last week, the Supreme Court had ruled 5-4 that the Affordable Care Act (better known as Obamacare) is constitutional. Surprisingly, the decisive 5th vote came not from the Justice Anthony Kennedy as is normally the case in the recent years, but from the Chief Justice John Roberts who normally sides with the conservative justices. Here are 10 various reactions to the Supreme Court ruling.
1) 45 million uninsured: (Sigh of relief) Ok, now comes the easy part, not getting sick until 2014.
2) Mitch McConnell, Senate GOP Leader: This decision has given us the banner to rally around. We will go into the 2012 election with the promise to repeal Obamacare, just as we did in 2010. And we have every intention of making the repeal of Obamacare a central issue of 2014, 2016, 2018, 2020 and all future election campaigns. We just have to make sure that we don’t actually repeal Obamacare by accident, since then we’d have to offer our own solution.
3) Insurance companies: This is a favorable ruling for us, since we can count on additional revenue from the previously uninsured. We would like to thank the Supreme Court for caring about the people, particularly in the light of their 2010 decision identifying corporations as people.
4) Darrell Issa, Chairman of Committee on Oversight and Government Reform : I am outraged about the Supreme Court decision, and I will hold the Supreme Court in contempt of Congress if they do not provide documentation on their internal deliberations leading to their decision!
5) Georgetown University, School of Supreme Court Studies. Based on our sophisticated statistical analysis of the previous votes by the Supreme Court, we predict that if Supreme Court has to decide whether 2+2=4, it will also be a split 5-4 decision.
6) Justice Anthony Kennedy: It is absolutely unconstitutional to make people to have health insurance! But, ummm, I still get to keep my insurance, right?
7) Sean Hannity, Fox News: As a result of the Obamacare and Arizona immigration law rulings, the honest hard-working Arizona policemen will not be able to deport illegals, but will have to buy them health insurance instead!
8) Broccoli growers: Oh boy oh boy oh boy, they voted for the mandate! Everyone was always comparing the insurance mandate with broccoli mandate, so how soon do we get that one? Maybe they’ll make “Eat your Veggies” into a law?
9) Barack Obama: The Supreme Court is a testament to the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, who have established the court and entrusted it with the power to uphold democracy with their judicious decisions based on the fundamental constitutional principles such as what Justice Kennedy had for dinner and how bad his commute to work was.
10) Jane Roberts, the wife of John Roberts: My husband has done what you had asked him to do. Now please, I beg you, release our daughter!