In case you have missed that, last Friday December 21st, there had been an end of the
world according to the Mayan calendar. If you are reading this, then clearly you have missed that important event, and now you are probably wondering why the promised Apocalypse had not happened as predicted. Here are 10 of the reasons why the world did not end.
1) The Maya forgot to adjust their calendar for daylight savings time.
2) The world wasn’t really supposed to end because it was just a made-up holiday like Valentine’s Day: it was fabricated by the underground bunker industry to sell more bunkers.
3) Everyone paid attention to the ominous “This Is The End Of The Calendar” on the Mayan calendar, but few people noticed the next sentence “Call now to order your next calendar at Calendars.com!”.
4) There will be other scheduled ends of the world: in 4.5 billion years when the Sun explodes, in 2028 when an asteroid hits the Earth, and in 2014 when Obamacare goes into effect.
5) The Mayan dog ate the correct Mayan calendar.
6) The end of the world had to be cancelled because the Republican party said that there is no way they will raise taxes on the millionaires to pay for THAT… or anything.
7) Mayan calendar failed to work correctly because it was never updated for Y2K date bug.
8) When Spanish conquistadors destroyed the Mayan civilization, the Mayan self-destruct countdown to the end of the world had immediately stopped. (Hey, this is how it always works in the movies!)
9) The alien race that was supposed to destroy humankind last week, had bet a lot of money on 2013 Superbowl.
10) Personally, I have planned a vacation for January, so I’ve asked the Maya to reschedule the end of the world. In response, I got their auto-reply e-mail saying that the Maya civilization is currently out of the office and if I have any questions requiring immediate attention I should contact the Aztecs. So I guess it really was cancelled.