This week, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he will resign the post as the head of the Catholic Church at the end of February, and God is expected to accept his resignation. This is the first time in the last 600 years that a pope has resigned his post, and Pope Benedict’s decision prompted many different reactions, from elation (in Atheists) to disbelief (also in Atheists). Here are 10 other reactions to the pope’s announcement.
1) Vatican Press Secretary: “I would like to clarify that Pope Benedict is not ill and will only resign his position to spend more time with his family… Ooops! Oh my… I wasn’t supposed to mention his family…”
2) Mitt Romney: “I will take a lot of credit for Pope’s resignation. Also, I hear that there will be an election for the new pope, so please donate to my new campaign, ‘Kneel with Romney for Better Vatican’.”
3) BBC: “Catholic Church in Europe has been losing followers for a while, but so far this is the first defection of such a high profile.”
4) Cardinal Angelo Scola: “Unfortunately, Pope Benedict has been sicker than we thought. Just last week, he was heard to utter such delirious and incoherent nonsense about humans being descendants of apes and Earth having a shape of a sphere.”
5) Pope’s Facebook page: Pope Benedict changed status to “Single”.
6) Americal Association of Pedophile Priests: Though we are saddened to see His Holiness leave, let us remember that the herculean task of covering up child sex abuse demands a younger and more energetic leader.”
7) Karl Rove: “I’m looking forward to working with Pope Benedict XVI to prepare him for 2016 presidential election. As our internal polls show, our party would be very excited to have a white male Catholic candidate who is considerably more moderate than Rick Santorum.”
8) List of X: “This list had became unbearably difficult to continue, and therefore I have regrettably decided to end it after just 8 items. What, the Pope can quit early and I can’t?”