10 Reactions To Pope Benedict XVI Resignation

English: Pope Benedict XVI in Italy

Pope Benedict XVI is also expected to resign from his part-time job as a Santa Claus impersonator. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This week, Pope Benedict XVI announced that he will resign the post as the head of the Catholic Church at the end of February, and God is expected to accept his resignation.   This is the first time in the last 600 years that a pope has resigned his post, and Pope Benedict’s decision prompted many different reactions, from elation (in Atheists) to disbelief (also in Atheists).  Here are 10 other reactions to the pope’s announcement.

1)  Vatican Press Secretary:  “I would like to clarify that Pope Benedict is not ill and will only resign his position to spend more time with his family… Ooops!  Oh my… I wasn’t supposed to mention his family…”

2)  Mitt Romney:  “I will take a lot of credit for Pope’s resignation.  Also, I hear that there will be an election for the new pope, so please donate to my new campaign, ‘Kneel with Romney for Better Vatican’.”

3)  BBC:  “Catholic Church in Europe has been losing followers for a while, but so far this is the first defection of such a high profile.”

4)  Cardinal Angelo Scola:  “Unfortunately, Pope Benedict has been sicker than we thought.  Just last week, he was heard to utter such delirious and incoherent nonsense about humans being descendants of apes and Earth having a shape of a sphere.”

5)  Pope’s Facebook page:  Pope Benedict changed status to “Single”.

6)  Americal Association of Pedophile Priests:  Though we are saddened to see His Holiness leave, let us remember that the herculean task of covering up child sex abuse demands a younger and more energetic leader.”

7)  Karl Rove:  “I’m looking forward to working with Pope Benedict XVI to prepare him for 2016 presidential election.  As our internal polls show, our party would be very excited to have a white male Catholic candidate who is considerably more moderate than Rick Santorum.”

8)  List of X:  “This list had became unbearably difficult to continue, and therefore I have regrettably decided to end it after just 8 items.  What, the Pope can quit early and I can’t?”

 

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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32 Responses to 10 Reactions To Pope Benedict XVI Resignation

  1. Great list X, thanks. The ending is especially inspired. 🙂

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  2. Well this is just silly… and awesome…

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  3. I love #5. But my favorite was what this guy at the bar said: The Pope is giving up the papacy for Lent. I lol’d so hard.

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  4. JohnSmart says:

    Quod EGO iustus quieti ens Pontifex … quid ego facturus nunc? Im ‘iens Disneyland!

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    • List of X says:

      Wow, John, a comment in Latin… And nowhere more appropriate than here. Yet my spam filter decides to block it.
      But I agree, not being the pope anymore, he can finally do something fun.

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  5. Pingback: Mitt Romney Announce Plans to Run for Pope | God Shmod

  6. Pasquale Didemedico – Vatican Tailor: Oh! datsa great! Iffa da new Pope is a-short-a guy, I’ll haff-a-to hem up alla dee robes, eh?

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  8. mhasegawa says:

    #3 sounds just like the BBC

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  9. Sherry says:

    totally irreverent and totally funny!

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  10. Ape No. 1 says:

    Haha. Though for #2 Obama could also launch the “Vat-I-Can!” campaign.

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    • List of X says:

      Problem is, Obama doesn’t have as much free time as Romney does now. But if Obama wanted to be pope, the slogan could work. I would also suggest “Church you can believe in”

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  11. lexborgia says:

    #8. Spot on. You do usually write a load of bunk, a pile of pants, but 8 had the biggest pile. Surprised yourself with that one, didn’t you. I smell a ‘poolitzer. Great stuff mate.

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  12. List of X says:

    Thank you! Though, if you smell a poolitzer, it usually means someone surprised themselves with #2. 🙂

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  13. Laura says:

    About #8 – it looks like both you and the Pope want to be more like Sarah Palin.

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    • List of X says:

      I’m flattered you put me in the same league as Palin and the Pope. But alas, I don’t look as good in red as they do.
      P.S. Palin and the Pope – somehow that sounds like a 70’s band name…

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    • List of X says:

      I’m flattered you put me in the same league as Palin and the Pope. But alas, I don’t look as good in red as they do.
      P.S. Palin and the Pope – somehow that sounds like a 70’s band name…

      Like

  14. Ned's Blog says:

    Absolutely loved this post. The “single status on Facebook” and “more time with family” especially cracked me up. I also heard the reaction from George Lucas, who admitted “I’m glad he’s no longer attached to the Pope project so he can reprise his role as the ‘Evil Emperor Palpatine’ in the next Star Wars trilogy.”

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