10 Reactions To The Satanist Monument In Oklahoma State Capitol

The statue with sitting a figure of Satan and smiling children next to it was modeled from the other famous pagan idol, Santa Klaus.

The statue with sitting a figure of Satan and smiling children next to it was modeled from the other famous pagan idol, Santa Klaus.

In 2012, Oklahoma State legislature authorized building a 10 Commandments monument on the grounds of the state Capitol.  And last week, arguing that by allowing a Christian monument Oklahoma should also allow religious monuments from other faiths, a Satanic Temple from New York formally filed an application for a Satanic-themed monument in the Oklahoma Capitol building.  Here are 10 reactions to the proposed Satanist monument.

1)  Trait Thompson, chairman of Oklahoma Capitol Preservation Commission:  “Our commission has made it clear that Satanists will get a monument when Hell freezes over.  And… well, gee… thanks a LOT, gosh-darned polar vortex!”

2)  American Atheists:  “We also would like this opportunity to erect a monument of our own, but since we don’t really have a holy figure of our own, for now we’re considering erecting a statue of prophet Mohammed, so that we could offend both Christians AND Muslims at the same time.”

3)  State Representative Earl Sears:  “A monument to Satan stands against everything we believe in here in the Oklahoma State legislature!  We’re doing Christ’s work here in the Capitol!  Now get out of my way, I’m late for a vote to take away the school lunches from the sick and poor kids!”

4)  Satan:  “Yay! I’m famous!… Ughh, never mind, it’s Oklahoma…”

5)  State Representative Don Armes:  “This is the 21st century, and we need to be tolerant of all people who think different than us.  Well, as long as they’re Christians, of course.”

6)  Oklahoma Cattle Rancher Association:  “Our organization is offended by this goat-headed disgrace.  Seriously, considering our proud Oklahoman traditions, would it kill them to make the statue with a head of Hereford or Angus bull?”

7)  Tea Party of Oklahoma:  “We’re actually Ok with the monument, as long we are allowed to carve the words ‘Barack Obama’ at the base of the statue.”

8)  National Rifle Association:  “Our American way of life is once again under attack!  We strongly urge all patriotic gun owners to buy more guns to protect Jesus!”

9)  Mary Fallin, Governor of Oklahoma:  “We understand that the First Amendment guarantees freedom of religion, and we would gladly accept the monuments from any other religion.  What we will not allow is a monument from bogus pseudo-religions like Satanism, Buddhism or Islam.”

10)  Larry Rudolph, Miley Cyrus’ manager:  “I hope this monument is completed soon.  Miley is planning to film her next music video this spring, and a statue of Satan is pretty much the only thing she still hasn’t licked in one of her videos.”

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
This entry was posted in Humor, List of 10, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

85 Responses to 10 Reactions To The Satanist Monument In Oklahoma State Capitol

  1. Love this! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂

    Like

  2. Pleun says:

    Funny, as always 😉 And spot on as far as Miley is concerned!

    Like

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    They were all funny. #4 made me laugh loudest.

    Like

  4. Nadia says:

    4, 7 and 9 are my absolute favourites. I didn’t even know about this Satan statue…

    Like

  5. Laura says:

    Pastafarians: “We were going to demand a monument to our deity, but we couldn’t come up with a design that was structurally sound.”

    Like

  6. The Satanists didn’t need a monument in New York, since they’ve already got the Trump Tower.

    Like

  7. Twindaddy says:

    I wonder what the scientologists would build…

    Like

  8. Calamity Rae says:

    ahhh, hahaha, I loved your comment to twindaddy almost as much as the article! Thanks for the laugh.

    Like

  9. Amaya says:

    I REALLY needed that laugh this morning! Gagging at the thought of Miley licking Satan, not so great. Funny, nonetheless, because it is actually within the realm of possibility.

    Like

  10. Elyse says:

    Of course you’re going straight to hell for this one. But at least you’ll know who to look for.

    Like

  11. Trent Lewin says:

    I lost it on number 4. Totally lost it. 7 and 8 killed me too.

    Like

  12. rossmurray1 says:

    0f07632576ca028511bb91f2dd4278e1

    Like

  13. rossmurray1 says:

    And by that encrypted Satanic code, I actually mean:

    Like

  14. Jackie Saulmon Ramirez says:

    Chris Christy: “When I’m president I’ll rule with an iron bridge and move the chair to Jersey!”

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I think this is Chris Christie’s reaction to everything. And he’ll probably also close a few lines leading to the Pearly Gates because St. Peter refused to support his campaign.

      Like

  15. stephenpruis says:

    Brilliant–#4 and #9 are my favorites.

    Like

  16. idiotprufs says:

    I’ve read that satan is upset with the design because no one ever gets the horns right.

    Like

  17. Carrie Rubin says:

    These are so good. Love #1 and #7 (well, I love them all, but those two made me laugh out loud). That monument looks like it could be on the cover of a Stephen King novel. He might be calling them for a collaboration…

    After listening to the news this morning, I thought of you and wondered what you might come up with for the new Chris Christie’s staff’s bridge controversy. Of course, the media is practically salivating at their latest news gem.

    Like

  18. Hey… didn’t I just do a post about this a few weeks ago?????

    Like

  19. mcnorman says:

    ROFLMAO X
    Some days one really needs a hearty laugh. Thanks.

    Like

  20. Scott Erb says:

    I had to post a link to this to Facebook, it’s hilarious. 2 and 7 are my favorites. 10 made me laugh too!

    Like

  21. EagleAye says:

    Love #9! There is little doubt in my mind he’s said something like that, albeit not within hearing range of the press. I Satan is also the only thing Miley hasn’t twerked. She’s slipping and she needs to pick of up the pace.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Ummm, the governor of Oklahoma, Mary Fallin, is a she, not a he, actually 🙂 The name is kind of a giveaway 🙂
      And Miley… she’s already licked hammers while swinging naked on a wrecking ball. There’s really not that much left that she could still do to shock us.

      Like

  22. Ape No. 1 says:

    Well does appear to be seated at the Pentagon…

    Like

  23. mollytopia says:

    Hahaha – this is awesome. Well done! I think they should just put phallic symbols everywhere – I mean that’s basically what it all boils down to right?

    Like

  24. Mal Content says:

    I think Satan needs the profile boost. Remember when he used to do guest spots on all those heavy metal albums? Now you hardly ever hear about him. Maybe he should get a new agent.

    Like

  25. The Hook says:

    Hilarious because it’s true!

    Like

  26. Caleb Gee says:

    Lmao. This was hilarious!

    Like

  27. Dammit, now I can’t get Mary’s voice out of my head.

    LMAO. these were all absolutely dead on.

    Like

  28. Sherrie R. Moon says:

    D.C. Slated for Demolition As luck would have it, all of the historic monuments and buildings in Washington, D.C. (e.g., the Lincoln Memorial , the National Mall , the Pentagon , the U,S. Capitol Building , the Supreme Court Building , the Washington Monument , and the White House ) have all underwent recent “renovation” or “construction” projects (see list below), which may or may not have allowed for the insertion of explosives which could be detonated via remote control at a future date.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      That sounds very disconcerting. But have you checked your own house for explosives yet? I mean, people who built it or renovated it also may or may not have allowed for the insertion of the explosives into your walls.

      Like

  29. As long as we can carve Barack Obama into the statue . . . hahaha, oh perfect. As is the rest of it. Sooo true.

    Like

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  31. YOLO says:

    Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids.
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    Like

    • List of X says:

      No, I think the comment is very appropriate here, because Satan made the crab pinch your daughter. I hope she is ok, and I’ll be sure to look inside the shell before I try to listen to it next time.

      Like

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