Recently, president Donald Trump sharply criticized wind power, shortly after demanding the repeal of gravity, and trying to win a staring contest against the sun. In Trump’s tremendously scientific opinion, the wind power is terrible because wind turbines decrease property values by 750% and the noise from the turbines causes cancer. But this is just scratching the surface on all the potential problems from the wind power, so here are 10 more reasons why America should stop using the wind power completely.
1) Wind turbines kill hundreds of birds who otherwise would be dying of natural causes like pollution and habitat destruction.
2) Wind turbines have been proven to cause nausea and headaches for coal executives.
3) Because wind occurs when hot air rises from the surface and is replaced by cooler air, eventually all the hot air on the planet will rise up and the planet will have no more hot air, and we therefore will run out of wind! Science!
4) Also, after all the hot air will get replaced by the cold air, we will see a global cooling instead of the global warming, and we will urgently need to burn coal to raise the Earth’s temperature back up.
5) Wind turbines generate lot of unhealthy noise, with 92% of that noise coming from the president and other Republicans.
6) When God is using strong winds like tornadoes and hurricanes to punish America for homosexuality, wind turbines pervert God’s plan, because wind turbines allow every homosexual to power up to 120 average American houses.
7) Also, if God wanted us to use wind power for electricity generation instead of coal, he would have left abundant underground deposits of wind turbines instead of coal.
8) Wind turbines are completely useless because they only work when the wind blows – which is the opposite of, say, Trump’s golf courses which only work when the weather is nice.
9) For all the windmill cancer they cause (there are currently zero documented cases, but the real number could be a thousand times that!), wind turbines do not create nearly as much air pollution, toxic runoff, and other health problems as coal and oil, and wind power will therefore cause millions of doctors and nurses to lose their jobs.
10) Wind has no respect for the American laws and values and crosses the US border illegally every day from who knows how many Mexican countries.