10 Reactions To Syrian Refugee Crisis

American protesters are greeting the Syrians with some hate and bigotry, so that the refugees from the civil wars and sectarian violence would feel right at home.

American protesters greeting the Syrians with some hate and bigotry, so that the refugees from the land scarred by the civil wars and sectarian violence would feel right at home.

As a result of the Syrian civil war and various other conflicts, there are over ten million displaced persons worldwide, and recently the United States had offered to accept 10,000 Syrian refugees on humanitarian grounds. However, after recent terrorist attacks in Paris, many American politicians demanded that these Syrian refugees are blocked from entering the country, because the fact that no Syrian refugees were involved in the Paris attacks must mean that they’re just planning to attack somewhere else. The other side of the debate is just as adamant that unless we take the refugees they will radicalize and join ISIS – because it’s logical to expect that the people who are running away from ISIS would be happy to join ISIS. The debate continues to rage, and here are 10 reaction to the refugee crisis.

1) 30 Republican Governors:  “We don’t want any Syrian refugees in our states, not even five-year-olds. Haven’t you been watching the news? It’s like every week there is another story how a five-year-old gets a hold of a gun and shoots someone.”

2) John Kerry, Secretary of State: “We must welcome Syrian refugees, because otherwise they will radicalize and join ISIS. And by taking 10,000 of the refugees into our country, we leave only 14,990,000 potential recruits for ISIS which will surely deprive them of victory.”

3) Salman bin Abdulaziz, king of Saudi Arabia: “We hear that American politicians are criticizing us for not accepting any Syrian refugees. But all your Christian fundamentalists keep saying that the Middle East should become more Christian – and by refusing to take any refugees, we’re doing exactly what Christian America is doing. So why are you still unhappy?”

4) Marco Rubio, Republican senator: “Since we’re at war with radical Islam, we need to close any places that could make Muslims radicalize and hate America, like the mosques or Fox News.”

5) Barack Obama: “We want to help the people who had suffered from war and torture by bringing them here to America, the only country free from wars and torture. Remember, in America, we call it ‘defending our freedom’ and ‘enhanced interrogation’.”

6) Ted Cruz, Republican senator: “We don’t need any more people who are plotting a violent overthrow of American government and plan to turn the country into a theocracy. We here at the Tea Party don’t need no competition.”

7) Howard Woodson, historian: “The media insists that it would be un-American to deny shelter to the Syrian refugees. However, America had exterminated Native Americans, enslaved blacks, banned Chinese, interned Japanese, and condemned Jews to death in WWII. So, in fact, it would be un-American to treat the Syrians as human beings.”

8) Jeb Bush, Republican presidential candidate: “Yeah, the State Department insists that they would vet every refugee. However, the problem with the vetting process is that inevitably, some people might actually make it through the vetting process.”

9) John Brennan, CIA director: “All refugee candidates will go through a rigorous 18 to 24 month vetting process, with background checks, dozens of forms to be filed, and multiple interviews with DHS, State Department, USCIS, CIA, NSA, FBI, IRS, DMV, etc.. Unfortunately, that’s more than sufficient to fill every admitted refugee with burning hatred for American bureaucracy and America in general.”

10) Statue of Liberty: “It says in my book, ‘Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free’, and so on. But I am just an immigrant from Europe myself, so since when does my opinion matter?”

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
This entry was posted in Humor, List of 10, Satire and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

56 Responses to 10 Reactions To Syrian Refugee Crisis

  1. Steve Ruis says:

    Brilliant! You had me from #1 and, of course, I especially liked #4 and all other disparagements of Fox (sic) News.

    Like

  2. Elyse says:

    Can we please make this retroactive? That way we can ban the families of Rubio and Cruz and not have to listen to them talk about how immigrants should be kept out.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. mhasegawa says:

    Thanks for #10. I think we all need a reminder. And #7 is the best reason for keeping Syrians out except maybe we should let them in so we have another group to persecute.

    Like

  4. Seeing that photo of the ‘no refugees’ sign with American flags unfurled right beneath it made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

    Like

  5. Scott says:

    Sadly, #7 is right on the mark. Sigh…

    Like

  6. Glazed says:

    I don’t want refugees in my backyard. However, a shelter or camp might be a good place, until they can get a backyard of their own.

    Like

  7. It is funny how all the states that worry about the refugees getting guns are the ones where it is easiest to get guns…

    Like

  8. Mr. Militant Negro says:

    Reblogged this on The Militant Negro™.

    Like

  9. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Many different perspectives …. right on target!!

    Like

  10. Mavadelo says:

    Did Obama really say the US is the only country without war and torture? Is he rigging insane?. That those rightwingers are insane I already knew. No torture or war in the Netherlands and many many many other countries as far as I am aware. and no war… maybe no domestic war…. although LGTB, homeless, veterans and immigrants from non European or no Christian countries might not really agree on that

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Don’t worry, this is satire. He did say something like that the first part, that he wanted to save Syrians from war and torture by settling them in America. But, as you know, America is also pretty big on war and torture.

      Like

  11. Michelle says:

    This is awesome. Sharing.

    Like

  12. This is perfect timing for the holiday season of hope, faith, and giving. I found this meme this morning: https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodLordAbove/photos/a.157796790974699.40772.157750900979288/1575830225838008/?type=3

    Like

  13. EagleAye says:

    All of them are brilliant, though I like 3,4, and 6 the best. It makes sense that the Tea Party doesn’t want competition building a theocracy. So far, they’ve got the market cornered on that.

    Like

  14. I read somewhere that there are more Mexicans crossing the border into Mexico than out of it. Clearly this whole Syrian refugee thing is embarrassing them more than we realized.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I thought it was because they fear that Donald Trump gets elected and builds his border wall, and in this case Mexican immigrants would end up in the country head by Trump with no way to get out.

      Like

  15. Will Mars accept Syrian refugees?
    Will Mars accept us Ted Cruz, Mario Rubio, Donald Trump and Jeb Bush as refugees?
    Will Syria accept us Ted Cruz, Mario Rubio, Donald Trump and Jeb Bush as refugees?

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I can’t imagine Mars offering any cooler reception to Syrians than the U.S. does.
      As for Mars accepting Cruz and Co., I don’t if they would be interested in going to the Red planet until they know for sure that “red” stands for “Republican” and not “communist”. On the other hand, Mars is named after the Roman god of war, and they really like god and war.

      Liked by 2 people

  16. Jay says:

    Well let’s be thankful that even when the politicians are acting crazy, there are still compassionate people in the world,d oing their best to extend open arms to people who need it.

    Like

  17. This is awesome! Whenever I visit my Mom’s house, she’ll often have the news on (way too loud), and I am so often baffled at the comments and reactions which crop up every time an issue like immigration is discussed. It’s gotten to a point where I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up hearing any of #1 – #10 on the news!

    Like

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