10 New Major Endorsements Won By Donald Trump

Donald Trump stands visibly uncomfortable while getting endorsed by Sarah Palin, because endorsement by Sarah Palin is probably like your own conception: you want it to happen, but don't want to be there when it happens.

Donald Trump stands visibly uncomfortable while getting endorsed by Sarah Palin. I guess endorsement by Sarah Palin is probably like your own conception: you want it to happen, but don’t want to be there when it happens.

Last week, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign had received a major boost when in a public appearance, former vice-presidential candidate and TV personality Sarah Palin went on raving and incoherent rant about Donald Trump and America, which most experts agreed constituted an endorsement of Donald Trump’s candidacy for president. But winning the coveted endorsement from Sarah Palin was just a start, and Trump has landed a lot of huge new endorsements from all kinds of people and organization. Here are 10 of these endorsements.

1) American Academy of Ophthalmology: “In his speeches, Donald Trump promises to be looking at a lot of things when he becomes president. Our organization recognizes and celebrates the utmost importance of looking at things, and supports any candidate who shares our values.”

2) Association of Bankruptcy Lawyers: “As people who have worked with Mr. Trump many times over the years, we are impressed by his perseverance and his ability to create hundreds of new jobs in many of our law firms. We believe that under Donald Trump’s leadership, America will enter a new chapter.”

3) Hair Club For Men: “Donald Trump cares about what’s important for our members. He knows all about growth, managing scarce resources, and his hair redistribution plan is just amazing.”

4) Mensa International Society: “Previously, we had required all applicants for membership in our organization to take an IQ test to prove their superior intelligence. However, thanks to Donald Trump, we have been able to greatly simplify the admissions process to simply look at prospective applicants’ Facebook comments mentioning Donald Trump.”

5) National Rifle Association: “Recent Trump’s comments that he could randomly shoot someone in the middle of a street and not lose votes prove that Donald Trump is serious about defending our constitutional right to randomly shoot people on the street.”

6) Donald Trump’s reflection in the mirror: “Look, I know Donald better than anyone else. I literally spend several hours every day with him. He isn’t some egotistical maniac people make him out to be. No, he’s the kindest, most selfless man alive – all he cares about is my needs and my wants.”

7) Neanderthals: “Ooogoo! Gooogoo! Ughh! Arrrhhhgoo! Trump yuuuge! Obama boo! Homo Sapiens go back! Go Trump!”  (Sorry, that may have been Sarah Palin’s endorsement again…)

8) Donald Trump’s Ex-Wife Association: “The choice to support Donald was a difficult one for our organization and many of our members had initially opposed it, but we ultimately decided to endorse Donald Trump for president, because we can’t possibly rob America of this amazing sense of hope and happiness the country would be filled with as soon as Donald’s term is over.”

9) Coalition for Mexican Immigrants Rights: “You may be surprised that we chose to endorse Donald Trump after he had promised to build a giant wall on the border with Mexico. However, where do you think President Trump is going to find the workers he needs to build this wall?”

10) American Comedian Guild: “Did you hear the joke about Donald Trump? Well, we got about a million more of them, and we’re not going to run out of them until at least 2025.”

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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52 Responses to 10 New Major Endorsements Won By Donald Trump

  1. marcfunbee says:

    Hilarious!
    I actually thought you were being serious until I saw the first one “looking at things”

    Like

  2. X, all of these are side=splitting, but number 6 LOLLOLOL!

    Like

  3. These were all funny, but I really loved number 7 about Sarah Palin/caveman. Really hard to tell the difference there. Having Trump run is comedy gold. Reminds me of Ross Perot. Is he still alive? If so, Trump should get him for VP.

    Like

    • Did you say those first few Neanderthal words out loud? I sure did! How could you not? Do you remember Perot’s campaign song? “Crazy” by Patsy Cline. He meant, “I’m crazy to run for office” but I think people took it a different way. Trump could use that, too.

      Liked by 1 person

    • List of X says:

      To rephrase Sarah Palin’s famous joke, “what’s the difference between a Neanderthal and Sarah Palin? Lipstick!”
      I don’t know if Ross Perot is still alive, but I think that Donald was thinking more about that mirror reflection guy as his VP.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha. A new chapter. I saw what you did there. Bullseye.

    Did Trump really say he could shoot someone without consequence or is that one of your clever quips? How’d I miss that? I pay attention.

    Not to mention a big thumbs-up from late night talk show hosts, although that could be a subsidiary of the American Comedian Guild.

    Like

  5. aFrankAngle says:

    Even the collective of these 10 cannot beat the power of Nincompoopianism.

    Like

  6. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Hey!! These are the endorsement that really count, right? NOT ….

    Like

  7. Jim Wheeler says:

    Realizing that this is not a complete list, I called the American Association of Realtors and Developers to see how they felt about one of their own ascending to the highest office. Not surprisingly, they are all in. The spokesman said, dreamily, Wow. Just imagine, when we take over a middle-eastern country we’ll get a fee on every building in it. Let’s see (drooling), 6% of 23 billion is . . . OMG!

    Like

  8. susielindau says:

    I keep waiting for the ultimate blow up that flips his hair off his bald spot.

    Like

  9. Carrie Rubin says:

    Wonderful post. Love the conception line–very apt. Trump looked like he wanted to be anywhere but near Palin, but knew he had to be there. That was the most bizarre speech I’ve seen in a long time. Tina Fay did a great spoof of Palin on SNL last week. Was perfect.

    This campaign is the gift that keeps on giving for satirists, isn’t it?

    Like

  10. rossmurray1 says:

    I endorse this list along with this painfully lame comment.

    Like

  11. Man… I can’t even decide if this is funny or not… sigh…

    Like

  12. Tippy Gnu says:

    The Hot Air Ballooners Organization Of Billionaires (HABOOB) have endorsed him, claiming Trump will cause incomes for all Americans that matter, to rise up, up, and up. They were very fired up when they made their endorsement, with a light, airy, uplifting speech. But personally I think they got a little carried away.

    Like

  13. When Donald Trump says he’s good for business I always point out that he’s had multiple major bankruptcies, but I guess I forgot all the business he contributed to bankruptcy lawyers. I stand corrected.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. mhasegawa says:

    Overall a 10!

    Like

  15. Ankur Mithal says:

    Heard ISIS has passed a law, sorry decree, sorry arbitrary order, to fund Trump’s campaign. They expect to recover the investment within a few months from lower hiring costs. So you have no. 11 as well.

    Like

  16. Trent Lewin says:

    Number 9 is the funniest thing I have read in ages. It proves that the Donald just hasn’t properly thought through his policy tableau. Poor poor The Donald. I sense disaster in his future. But also a really interesting reality TV show, which I think is the true game behind his run.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I don’t think Donald Trump has a policy tableau, per se, unless you count “looking at things” and “management”.
      I agree that this is a pretty awesome reality show, but there is a chance that reality show could suddenly turn very, very real on a planetary scale. And don’t for a minute think that you’ll be safe from him up in Canada.

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ha! I was wondering what you were going to do with these idiot candidates, especially some of Trump’s latest rantings (that shoot anybody and not lose votes was such an awesome joke according to his followers!) And Sarah Palin endorsing him reminds me of when George W. Bush endorsed McCain and he tried to inch as far away from him as possible in the photo. This proves Trump is at least smart enough to figure out Sarah isn’t the best endorsement, but then most chimps can figure that out. Or the cave men – best impersonation of his followers ever.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Trump might have been joking about not losing the votes if he shot someone on the street, but I think he’s right. People like him because he’s so tough and doesn’t care what other people think, and what better way to prove both qualities than by shooting somebody in the street?

      Like

  18. The Hook says:

    Trump is very successful
    Just ask him..

    Like

  19. Paul says:

    Say X, just out of curiousity where did my comment go?

    Like

  20. awesome, as always my friend! peace …

    Like

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