10 Reasons Why America Is Not Ready For A Female President

A fun fact: 80% of the people who believe that America is not ready to have a female president had voted for Sarah Palin as a Vice President to a 75 year old man. Image source: merger.com

A fun fact: 80% of the people who believe that America is not ready to have a female president had voted for Sarah Palin as a Vice President to a 75 year old man.
Image source: merger.com

The election is just a day away, and Hillary Clinton is still ahead in the polls, despite the combined efforts of the Republican party, the FBI, Wikileaks and Russian hackers. However, she is only up by a couple of percentage points, and in a recent speech President Obama had suggested that Clinton is losing some support because many voters are sexist and refuse to vote for a woman. However, these voters aren’t sexist, they merely recognize the reality that America is simply not ready for a female president. Here are 10 reasons why:

1)  If a woman becomes the American president, the title of the most powerful man in the world will by default go to Russia’s Vladimir Putin.

2)  Since a woman’s last name is usually different than the last name in her birth certificate, her birth certificate is probably fake.

3)  Even though Barack Obama has been president for almost eight years, about a third of the country is still not ready for a black president.

4)  Since an average woman makes only 78% of what an average man makes, a female president is 22% more likely to be bribed.

5)  If America elects a female president, our country will become just one of dozens of countries that have or have had a female head of state. If America wants to protect our American exceptionalism, we must keep electing male presidents.

6)  A switch from a black male president to a white female president would be too radical for the country to handle, and the transition should be gradual with a black female president serving at least one term between these two.

7)  Because women live longer than men, there’s a stronger incentive for a female president to overthrow democracy to become a dictator for life.

8)  A female president visiting a Muslim country would either make America look like a pushover by agreeing to wear a hijab, or would disrespect our allies by refusing to wear a hijab.

9)  Since a woman would be be less likely to start a new war, a lot of military industrial companies will close due to the lack of business, and millions of people would lose their jobs.

10)  A woman does not reflect American values, because all of America’s Founding Fathers were male.

 

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About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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40 Responses to 10 Reasons Why America Is Not Ready For A Female President

  1. rossmurray1 says:

    Sadly, these are all plausible arguments in the eyes of many.

    Like

  2. aFrankAngle says:

    You hit many sad truths here … but 6 and 10 my favs.

    Like

  3. The Trump campaign is considering some of these as viable campaign slogans as we speak…

    Liked by 1 person

    • List of X says:

      I believe they already went with #RepealThe19thAmendment. Not only that highlights Trump’s knowledge of the Constitution and dedication to putting boundaries on the government outreach, but, if successful, this repeal would completely eradicate the damaging influence of women on democracy.

      Like

  4. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    Very good ‘facetious’ points … take a look!

    Like

  5. Jim Wheeler says:

    On the other hand, X, I can see some advantages to having a woman president. For example, in tough negotiations she can get a time-out by getting a headache. Or, using the stony silence treatment.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mhasegawa says:

    Love number 5. Besides Hillary, Teresa May (England), and Angela Merkel can talk in the Ladies Room and who knows what they might cook up. And maybe Queen Elizabeth will join them.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Tippy Gnu says:

    Also, there are more women than men. So if we had a woman president, us men would lose our minority representation.

    Like

  8. pegoleg says:

    The good news is, because of #4 we’d only have to pay her 78% of the pittance the president normally gets. But # 8 might be a real thing.

    Like

    • List of X says:

      Yes, but since the president is legally the highest paid federal employees, a lot of other people will have their salary cut, too, so the country would save a lot of money.

      Like

  9. Ankur Mithal says:

    And when a male head of state comes calling, would the presidential spouse get to, well, go around with the spouse of the head of state come calling? That’s why America can’t have a female President. At least not Hillary Clinton.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Elyse says:

    If somehow we manage #6, can we have Michelle?

    Like

  11. Regarding the transition indicated in item 6: We could also have a white male as the transitioning step!

    Like

  12. Twindaddy says:

    You forgot to mention all the wars that would start when she’s bleeding from her wherever.

    Like

  13. calahan says:

    One important thing that many are overlooking is the fact that government spending will increase for printing costs simply because everyone will have to add an S to Mr. when addressing letters to her. Margins will be out of control, toner costs will skyrocket. Oh, Mrs. President, what have you done? See? Right there. I am now one key click closer to carpal tunnel thanks to that S.

    Like

  14. EagleAye says:

    Hilarious as always. I think #9 is my fave. How can we create jobs without a strong military-industrial complex? 😉

    Like

    • List of X says:

      I know – if a company produced, say, a TV or a shirt, and the consumer won’t need to replace it for months or even years. But a military contractor would produce bombs and missiles that would only be used once, and then a new bomb or missile has to be produced, which means that demand for bombs and missiles is more reliable than for TVs and shirts.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Also there’s the possibility that she’ll waste valuable time and taxpayer dollars redecorating the oval office and changing the Lincoln bedroom into a craft nook.

    Like

  16. It turns out that’s not going to be an issue for us. We have a much bigger issue than trying to acclimate ourselves to a female president.

    Like

  17. This is a little less funny now… after the election… but still pretty damn funny…

    Like

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