The Republican majorities in the Senate and the House of Representatives have released their long-awaited tax plans, and although the two plans differ in the details, both are based on the idea that the richest people in America are so desperately poor that the rest of us need to pay more in taxes and borrow $1.5 Trillion over the next decade to provide additional government assistance to them. Although Democrats are outraged over this tax reform, the Republican tax plan will actually help America in many ways. Here are just 10 of them.
1) The plan gives the largest tax cuts to the richest people, because the more money rich people have, the more jobs they create. Imagine if one single person had all of America’s money while everyone else had nothing – this man could create hundreds of jobs all by himself!
2) Small businesses would get much-deserved tax breaks and subsidies. (Small businesses will be defined by the bill as those businesses paying little or no federal tax at all, such as General Electric or United Airlines.)
3) The tax reform will raise taxes on graduate students by up to 400%. This plan will ensure that only the smartest and the fittest graduate students will survive and the weak will be weeded out, all without wasting valuable resources on edewkayshen.
4) The bill will repeal the estate tax, because we should not punish the success of children of millionaires in outliving their parents!
5) There will be no more personal exemptions allowed for individual taxpayers: this change will finally codify the idea that only corporations should be considered “persons”.
6) The plan provides a tax break for the private jet owners to encourage billionaires and millionaires to fly more on their private airplanes. This will reduce both the traffic congestion, and the usage of the government planes by the many billionaires and millionaires in the Trump administration.
7) The simplified tax forms will fit on a postcard, but you’d need to be able to write in really tiny letters to fill it all in. And thanks to the recent Equifax hack, you no longer need to worry about having your Social Security number on the postcard out in the open.
8) The plan will entice large corporations that hide their money from the US taxes in the offshore tax havens to finally pay their tax bill by offering them double what they would owe if they pay the bill.
9) The reform will close tax loopholes and excessive deductions. The details have not been finalized, but it would be whatever YOU benefit from.
10) Finally, the tax reform will prevent wealth redistribution by taking the money from the middle class and the poor and giving it to the rich.