10 Reactions To Donald Trump’s Impeachment Acquittal

In his acquittal speech President Donald Trump reiterated that his phone call was perfect and again demanded that everyone reads the call transcript. After which he turned to his aides and again demanded that they do not release the full call transcript.
Image source: Quora

This Wednesday, the Republican-controlled…or should I say, Trump-controlled, Senate voted to acquit president Trump of the charges in both articles of impeachment approved by the House of Representatives late last year, just days after voting against allowing any witnesses or evidence in the impeachment trial. Democrats were understandably upset. On the other hand, president Trump, in a measured and very presidential response, swore revenge and retribution on anyone who dared to vote against him, testify against him, or as much as “liked” a post calling for his impeachment, which I guess must be how this checks and balances thing works in today’s American democracy. Here are 10 other reactions to the president Donald Trump’s acquittal.

1)  Donald Trump, president:  “Many people are saying that I am the most acquitted president in history, maybe ever!  No other president was acquitted as quickly or as many times as I have!”

2)  Mike Pence, Vice President:  “….Gosh darn it. Really should stop getting my hopes up…”

3)  Melania Trump, First Lady:  “This change nothing. You still sleeping on couch, you cheating jebač.”

4)  Ted Cruz, Republican Senator:  “I believe very strongly that the House managers presenting the articles of impeachment against the president failed to meet the burden of proof that the president is a Democrat.”

5)  Nancy Pelosi, House majority leader:  “I feel a tear coming up. Does anyone have any printouts of Trump’s speeches?”

6)  Gutta Beborne, obstetrician:  “I just wanted to correct people who had mistakenly called this trial a miscarriage of justice. A miscarriage is a natural process. This is more like the Republican senators performing a late-term abortion of justice.”

7)  Chuck Schumer, Senate minority leader:  “We were really hoping to hear the witness testimony from the former National Security Advisor John Bolton which would have strengthened the case for conviction. Now that the president promised to take some action against him, Mr. Bolton might want to start watching his back.  However, I’m sure President Trump will simply claim that he never met John Bolton, and the rest of the Republican party will believe him.”

8)  Mitch McConnell, Senate majority leader:  “President Trump has done nothing wrong. He certainly did not abuse his power. In my book, the only thing that would constitute an abuse of power is handing any power to the Democrats.”

9)  William Barr, attorney general:  “This was a great trial. Really speedy, really good justice. That no witnesses thing really helped. We’re thinking of getting rid of witnesses and evidence in all other trials we have, it’s gonna make it so much easier to convict who we want to convict and acquit who we want to acquit.”

10)  Democratic Party of Iowa:  “Hey, you guys need help counting the votes? We love counting the votes!”

About List of X

An Ostensibly Funny Commentary* of the Recent News and Events. (* warning! may not actually be funny or a commentary. Also, since I am not quite sure what "ostensibly" means, it might not be "ostensibly" either.) Blogging at listofx.com
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23 Responses to 10 Reactions To Donald Trump’s Impeachment Acquittal

  1. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    You gotta read this list!! … ‘should I say, Drumpf-controlled, Senate voted to acquit president Drumpf of the charges in both articles of impeachment approved by the House of Representatives late last year, just days after voting against allowing any witnesses or evidence in the impeachment trial. ‘

    Like

  2. Jim Wheeler says:

    11. Vladimir Putin, autocrat: “ Way to go, Donald! You are finally getting the hang of it!”

    Like

  3. “I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused” Elvis Costello

    Like

  4. john zande says:

    a late-term abortion of justice

    That wins the internet today.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I like that: Trump-controlled Senate, not Republican-controlled. So true.

    Like

  6. Tippy Gnu says:

    Zelinski’s reaction: We find it unnecessary to investigate the Biden’s. However, this does not leave Bernie, Buttigieg, or Bloomberg off the hook.

    Like

  7. Trent Lewin says:

    Honestly, X, and not because you’re not funny in any way (because I think you’re brilliant), but for once, I think real life is actually funnier and weirder than your satire…

    Like

  8. Ankur Mithal says:

    Rest of the world: Another impeachment of a US President. Another acquittal of a US President. And all’s well with the world.

    Like

  9. Bernie Sanders: “99% of the power to acquit the President should not be concentrated in 1% of the population (the Senators). I want to redistribute the power to 100% of the population”

    Like

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