Official Joe Biden photo distributed by the Republican National Committee
A virtual Republican party convention is taking place this week (it’s “virtual” since the Republican party is no longer a “real” party but more of a Trump cult). At the convention, various members of the Trump family and a handful of not-as-of-yet fired and/or imprisoned associates and loyalists of Donald Trump made speeches offering a message of hope and optimism and a mountain of messages of doom and gloom that would befall our country should a Democratic nominee Joe Biden win the 2020 presidential election. However, judging by the polls that show Biden ahead of Trump, the Republicans’ message of fear and disaster is not sufficiently resonating with the average Americans. To make this message truly resonate, here are 10 horrible and scary things that Joe Biden would do to this country, and TO YOU PERSONALLY, if elected.
1) Joe Biden will come to your house and MURDER YOUR CAT. And since many people own zero cats, and some people had worked hard and accumulated many cats, Joe Biden will punish the multi-cat-owners more severely and will REDISTRIBUTE their DEAD CATS to the LAZY CATLESS PEOPLE!
2) Joe Biden will DESTROY our beautiful suburbs!! On November 4, he’ll show up on a tow truck, drive over your beautiful just-mowed lawn, and as your beautiful – and VERY SCARED CHILDREN are helplessly screaming, Mommy, Mommy, what is the mean man doing to us!? – Sleepy Jow will personally load up YOUR BEAUTIFUL HOUSE onto the tow truck and drop it off right in the middle of the most CRIME-INFESTED URBAN area within the standard 50 mile towing range!!!!
3) On November 18, when Sleepy Joe Biden will finally remember that he saw your BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN when stealing your house, he will tell Kamala Harris about them, and she will show up to PERFORM A VERY LATE TERM ABORTION on them!!!!
4) Joe Biden will TAX YOU to give free stuff to THEM, unlike Donald Trump, who’ll tax THEM and give FREE STUFF (like a free border wall) to YOU!!!!!
5) Joe Biden will make COAL AND OIL ILLEGAL and his JACK-BOOTED THUGS will make everyone use solar and wind energy, so you will no longer be able to watch Fox News 24-7 like you do everyday BECAUSE THERE WILL BE NO ELECTRICITY at night!!!!!
6) Joe Biden will give CITIZENSHIP to chickens, no questions asked, and you know who these hippie free-range cluck-clucks-clan supporting chickens would vote for!!!!!
7) If Joe Biden is elected, there would be NO MORE WATER. All the water will be FROZEN SOLID into ICE by the global-warming-hating Democrats, and if you get thirsty and wanted to defrost some water in your microwave, you better hope it is sunny enough for your microwave to power up!!!!!
8) If elected, Joe Biden WILL KILL GOD, yes, our tremendous immortal and omnipotent God, Who is just being recognized for the great things he has been doing recently, is IN GRAVE DANGER!!! The no-good Joe Biden will break through the Pearly Gates of Heaven, run up to God, smell His hair, and STAB HIM in the Back, and our omniscient God won’t even know what hit Him!!!! Why else would have Democrats nominated a guy who’s SO OLD that he could DIE and meet our Lord so very soon?!?!?!
9) Joe Biden will institute SOCIALISM all over this great country!!! That’s right, he’ll take socialism away from the America’s great crony capitalists and politicians and redistribute it to the poor, even “black” people!!!!!!!
10) If Joe Biden is elected, there would be RIOTS AND LOOTING in the streets, there would be SKY-HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT, there would be VIOLENT CRIME and CANCEL CULTURE and THOUSANDS OF DEAD from the Chinese Coronavirus! So, it would be kind of just like now, but it would be ALL JOE BIDEN’S FAULT!!!!!!!
Oh, you thought this list will stop at 10, as usual? NOPE!!!! Turning up the fear factor UP TO ELEVEN!!!!!
11) Joe Biden will give ALL ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS a SOCIALIST HEALTHCARE with DEATH PANELS that will kill them all!!!… no, wait, that’s… actually a good thing, so ignore that… BUT he WILL NOT GIVE SOCIALIZED HEALTHCARE TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!!… ummm….that’s also good…. this is confusing… uhhh… Anyway, BENGHAZI!!!!! HILLARY’S EMAILS!!!!!!! BAD!!!! SCARY!!!! OOOOOOOH!!!!
List of X 
If I’m not mistaken, I believe every one of those ten claims has been actually used at the Republican Convention…and that’s only after the first two days!
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I haven’t been really following. I know that at RNC, anyone who is not a die-hard Trumper is a spawn Devil made with Hitler, genetically modified to replace any of its in any way redeeming qualities with the worst qualities of Joseph Stalin. So maybe what I have here is a softened version of the real speeches.
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Sadly, if you put this out in the right-wing blogosphere, it would probably be shared profusely and become a part of the right-wing bible.
Sheesh.
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It probably would. Luckily, I don’t have any connections to a right-wing blogosphere, though I think this may come up in an occasional search.
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You’re doing a good job for the Dems with this one. Or the GOP–I can’t figure out which. But I think in this election, the side that does the best job of inspiring fear of the other side will win. Come to think of it, that’s all elections.
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If it all hinges on who scares their base more thoroughly, then the Republicans will win. For a party that hold courage and bravery and other manly qualities, the are sure afraid of a lot of things.
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End of the day, is there a difference? Post suggestion – 10 similarities between Democrats and Republicans? 😉
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There are a lot more than 10, actually. Though, importantly, very few Democrats believe their nominee is an infallible god.
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Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
Hey … this is all about Joe!! … “judging by the polls that show Biden ahead of Trump, the Republicans’ message of fear and disaster is not sufficiently resonating with the average Americans. “
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Well I am not voting for him then… who is that other guy… the orange one?
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Yes, and isn’t the orange a color of hope?
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Or juice?
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Here is another one —- Sleepy Jow, when he was awake, WHICH IS RARELY, worked for a BLACK man. Do you want to be ruled by someone who worked under a Black man?
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well, then, since every American worked under a black man in 2009-2016, we’re going to have to get a foreigner as president.
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As a Canadian, this makes me want to become a US citizen and punch Joe Biden in the nose.
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I don’t think you’re going to get a US citizenship then – one of the citizenship test questions is whether you’re applying for US citizenship for the purpose of punching Joe Biden in the nose.
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He’s way too nice to punch in the nose! The other guy, I would knee in the crotch for sure though.
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Hitler, Mussolini, Trump…
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and Biden is worst of all.
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Biden is not insane. Today Trump said getting Covid is a gift from God. A stone cold maniac infecting everyone because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. If we don’t stop him we’ll have a dictator is that what you want for America?
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The real gift from god will be that Agent Orange’s clinical course follows that of Herman Cain, which
means from testing positive to death, Trump would buy the farm on election day. Headstone – “It’s only the flu.”
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I hate to wish this monster disease on anyone. As a nurse I’ve witnessed suffering and death. For him to tell us it’s like the flu sickens me and should outrage everyone. But the cult carries on. Excellent epithet.
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Another word to the cult, particularly the crazed evangelical xians who support the psychotic narcissist, John 11:50 “You do not realize that it is better for you that one man die for the people than that the whole nation perish.”
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And Trump: “Why can’t we have both?”
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If Trump thinks Covid is a gift from God, then I guess it wouldn’t be inappropriate to wish that Trump receives this gift every week?
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He’s hopped up on steroids, He has no excuse for his usual outrageous behavior
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I think it was high time to make president Joe Biden.
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He couldn’t be president soon enough. Because you never know, how much time he’s got.
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