After 9 years of working hard to instill fear into the hearts of Americans using the color-coded terror threat system with the colors going from green to red, the Department of Homeland Security will change to a different, more specific alert system. Here are 10 reasons why the Department of Homeland Security is changing the alert system.
1) The airline passengers are more afraid of security screenings than of terrorists anyway.
2) The system was confusing to some people, who believed that the red means communism.
3) DHS had been issuing only Orange-level alerts since 2006 and ran out of orange paint.
4) The system was called racist because it identified some colors as more scary than the others.
5) The George W Bush Presidential Library felt they need to add at least a third item to their exposition (in addition to G.W.Bush’s memoir and a 2000 Florida ballot) , with a future plans to develop a threat level coloring book for the gift shop.
6) The system discriminated against the color-blind people, who were not able to determine how much fear they should feel.
7) With the budget cuts looming on the horizon, the Department of Homeland Security had to show the country just how hard they are working.
8) The alert system did not work as intended because some people did not scare easily, while others, such as the Tea Party, were constantly on red-level alert.
9) The Weather Channel bought the rights to the DHS alert system so that they could warn of a threat of an imminent orange-level snowstorm with patches of red level snow.
10) Finally, a change we can believe in.
I suggest a “terror threat template” to be used in all circumstances: http://andreasmoser.wordpress.com/2010/10/05/dont-travel-to-europe/